vrijdag 26 juli 2013

The return of the first sun ray


My soul knew that when I didn’t take the step now I would never get the chance anymore. With a courageous heart, I decided, after three years of fear and doubt, to make the world of my dream come true. I went to the land of Santiago. A liberating feeling accompanied me with intense happiness during the trip to St. Jean Pied de Port.

A grandmother, mother and son who continuously called for attention, negative attention, sat in front of me. It ran so high that eventually the entire wagon got irritated by the child's behavior. 
Yet I kept quiet. I wondered why the mother of the child did not see the question of his heart? It was clear she didn't hear him while he could not express his proper feelings by his frustration and anger around this aspect. Two years later, I realized why I had to go through this scene before I could start the journey to the Beloved in my heart by myself.

The arrival was approaching. A great fear came, more and more, over me. It told me to start my walk in Pamplona and not in Saint Jean Pied De Port so I did not have to defy the Pyrenees. 
To distract me I took The Divine Comedy in my hands, a small paperback of which I just read Canto 1 of hell. Soon it became also clear to me why I bought Dante’s story before I stepped on the train. I had to experience the fears of my own demons in the animals that restrained Dante to cross the mountain. While my thoughts drifted down I read the sentence “But thou, say wherefore to such perils past Return’ st thou? wherefore not this pleasant mount Ascendest, cause and source of all delight? ” 
It became quiet. I looked at myself in the sun while his rays into my heart drew a smile on my face.

The next day I departed on the path that was outlined with the dream of my life. I walked through the gateway to the joyous mountain, to the image that I craved to see. 

Learn to defy your own fears. Face them, boldly, from love in your heart where your dreams come to life by the virtue of the child that you are. She conquers all, #lovethatis.

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